Back to work

Well, I survived my first day back in the office. Admittedly, the anticipation the night before was far worse than actually going in on Friday. There were lots of big, ugly, heaving cries from me on Thursday night. I'd hold one baby, hug and smell him, cry a lot, calm down and then pick up the next baby just to start the process over again. It was heartbreaking for sure. I was stressing because we spent Thursday out and about running errands which led me to feel guilty about not enjoying my last day at home with my boys. On top of that, I had to get all my work stuff together, pack my lunch, assemble my pumping bag as best I could, figure out what to wear, make sure my alarm was set, etc...which meant I wasn't able to relax with the boys and Will like I would have liked. 

I was mad at myself for not being better prepared, and even more mad that I wasn't getting to bed at a decent hour like I had planned. I wanted to be in bed by 10:00 at the latest. Instead I was in bed just before midnight after helping with the boys' last feed of the night. My alarm was set for 4:30 AM- my new wake up time on work days. I'm used to getting little sleep these days, but not THAT little anymore!

Have I mentioned that I love my coworkers? They decorated my office with streamers, polka dots, pictures of the boys, and 6 boxes of tissues. They know me so well! It was such a wonderful surprise and greatly appreciated. And happily it was the only time I cried the whole day!

Will got in on the surprises, too, and sent me some beautiful flowers. He's a keeper!

It was really nice to be welcomed back by so many coworkers who stopped in to say hello. It certainly helped keep me occupied.  In some ways it felt like no time had passed since I was last in the office, when in reality it's been close to 6 months since I've worked at my desk thanks to my time working from home before the boys were born. I've got a lot of catching up to do but in many ways it was like riding a bike- you just get right back into a rhythm (I hope!). 

It certainly wasn't an easy day for me, but thanks to all the supportive people in my life it wasn't half as bad as I expected it to be. And the best part? My first day back was a Friday so I have the whole weekend to recover!