It's hard to believe I've been a stay-at-home mom for over a month already. And even though it's been a month, I don't think any of our party of five feels completely settled in to our new life- we're all still adjusting to these new circumstances when we are together 24/7. If I'm being perfectly honest, I thought I would have had a better "groove" by now...
The first week and a half or so after my last work day was spent on the road when we traveled to Wisconsin and then home via Minnesota and Illinois. The fact that I was done working didn't even feel real at that point. It felt like we were on vacation, and I often had to remind myself that I didn't have to worry about "work" stuff upon our return to Tennessee. Since then we've been busy trying to establish some sort of routine to our day.
When we decided that the time was right for me to come home, I set up some pretty ambitious goals for our family. They are pretty simple concepts, but ones that I really struggled with when I was working full-time. Being at home for a month has certainly not solved these issues by any means- we're doing OK in some areas but definitely not in all! So what better way to hold myself accountable than to blog openly and honestly about how things are going!
My goals, and where we stand on them right now:
1. Get in shape- be active every day (work out in some fashion)
My plan post-working was to continue getting up early and going on a walk/run
before the boys woke up for the day. I think my alarm was set for 6:00
am twice one week, but it hasn't been set since! I have been staying up
far too late in the evenings to get up that early. But I have been pretty
good about going out for a run around the neighborhood alone 1-2 times a
week, and then taking the boys with me after they get up another 1-2
times a week. I have gained weight in the past year since I quit pumping and I'd really, really love to drop that extra weight, plus some. My activity level has definitely increased since I left work, but I still have a long way to go to get into real shape! On the plus side, I am getting better at running. I have been doing run/walk intervals and have moved up to 2 minutes running/3 minutes walking. Not super impressive, but really good for me! And an extra nice bonus- I have a tan for the first time in FOREVER!!!
2. Get organized- meal plan, clean out closets, sell or give away old clothes, etc...
I was
alllll about getting us organized after I quit. When I was working I failed miserably when it came to meal planning. Dinner was always an afterthought once I got home so I would scramble to throw something decent together for all of us. Or, more often than not, I would snack when I walked in the door and while I got the boys' dinner ready and then not even make dinner for Will and me. I really wanted this to change! I was going to do a great job of planning our weekly meals, complete with coming up with our grocery lists and using the boys' nap time to meal prep for the evening's meal. In reality, I have planned exactly one week of meals...and have made exactly zero of the meals that I planned out. Part of this stems from the fact that getting organized requires a time commitment- I need to look up recipes that are kid-friendly (so I'm not making 2 separate meals every night), create a menu, factor in things like leftovers so we aren't wasting too much food, check our pantry for ingredients and then create a grocery list. I just haven't figured out the best time to put in all this effort yet, so we're still eating a lot of turkey sandwiches and cereal for dinner after the boys go to bed..if we eat a meal at all.
So while I have still not mastered meal prepping, I have been able to tackle the boys' closets and dressers a bit. My main motivation for organizing their stuff is to try and get a good idea of what hand-me-downs we have- the ones that we've outgrown and are ready to pass on to other baby boys, the stuff that I can try to sell on VarageSale, and the clothes that we inherited from other boys that need to be added to their dressers. I have taken a day or two to organize the clothes that we've outgrown and have passed on two huge bags worth of baby clothes to a couple of my pregnant friends who are expecting their first boy in the coming months. This doesn't seem like a big deal, but it feel SO NICE to have some more space in the dressers!
3. Get clean- keep the house in "company clean" shape all the time
For some reason, I thought I was going to have oodles of time while the boys were napping to get our house super clean. I figured I could tackle all our bathrooms on Monday, the kitchen on Tuesday, vacuum on Wednesdays, etc... Well, to this thought I say- HAHAHAHAHA. I did clean the kitchen one day. Like a serious, take everything apart, hands and knees scrub down. 2 days later, you couldn't even tell. Story of every parent's life, I'm sure, but I feel like all I'm ever doing is cleaning up the kitchen. I cleaned upstairs last week, but only because my sister and Ella came for a visit. This whole cleaning thing is such a vicious cycle- I sweep the hardwoods, and I swear dust bunnies form as soon as I turn my back. Needless to say, the house is not company clean, but this is one area where I really intend to improve!!
4. Get active- explore new activities with the boys, get them out of the house as often as possible
We've been doing OK in this area. Before I quit working, a big outing for the boys was our weekly trip to Sam's for diapers and an occasionally family excursion to the grocery store. In the past month, we've kept pretty active most days. The boys have been spending quite a bit of time outside. They got a new water table, a sprinkler, and big wheels for the birthday, so they actually have outside toys to play with now which has been great for keeping them entertained. We've been doing our stroller walks in the morning, usually followed by some play time outside before it's oppressively hot. We've done story time at the library twice now. We have explored a couple parks in the area, have been to the pool several days, have spent a day at a local beach, and have gone to the zoo twice. Basically our goal each day is to wear them out with lots of morning activities so that they take a nice long nap in the afternoon!
5. Get out alone- have more 1x1 dates and time with Will, give each other the ability to spend time alone as well
To be honest, I feel like there have only been a handful of days when Will and I are home together all day. Will's been super busy over the past month helping his dad with yard work and other projects. If I was still working, it would have taken months for them to finish what they were able to tackle in a couple weeks! It's definitely not what I had in mind for him when we talked about giving each other some "me" time to get out of the house alone, but Will enjoys doing the work and feels good knowing he's helping his dad. I hope that he'll be able to get out and do something more enjoyable- like golf, more soon, once their projects wrap up. As I mentioned above, I've been doing OK at getting out alone at least a couple times a week when I run around the neighborhood. I've also been able to have some alone time at the pool a couple times, and grab lunch with some old work friends, both of which felt like mini vacations!
The one area where I think Will and I are improving is having more quality time with each other. When I was working I constantly struggled with mama vs. wife guilt. I had so little time with the boys during the week that I wanted the few hours I had with them at night before bed to be all about them. And as soon as they went to bed I was in go-mode to get prepped for work the next day, then had a couple minutes of downtime before I had to go to bed. Will and I rarely had an opportunity to sit down and talk in the evenings before the boys were in bed, and by the end of the night we were both exhausted and just wanted to chill. On the weekends I would feel guilty about leaving the boys if Will and I had made plans. Meanwhile, Will was chomping at the bit to get out of the house and have some semblance of an adult life. He dreamed about vacations to Iceland or Greece, and I'd immediately shoot the idea down because I couldn't bear to think about missing that much time with the boys. He wanted to take weekend trips- I couldn't get past the idea of barely seeing my kids during the week and then not seeing them at all over the weekend. This whole guilt trip was by far the worst part of working. I felt like I wasn't able to be fully present as a parent for sure, but mostly as a wife. As awful as it sounds, my babies were taking priority over my marriage.
Thankfully, this has drastically improved over the past month. Now that I'm spending all my days with the boys, I don't feel nearly as guilty about getting out for some down time with Will. We're extremely fortunate that the boys' Aunt Cari loves to babysit, and is available nearly every time we call her for help. The boys absolutely love having her around, so I think it's a win-win situation! With her work schedule, Cari is often available in the afternoons so we have taken advantage of the longer days of summer. Our go-to day date has been taking our kayaks and paddle board out on the lake. Since we can go out during the week, it's usually just us on the water and it's so, so relaxing! I seriously feel like having this alone time with Will has lifted a
huge guilty weight off my shoulders.
6. Get out together- have more individual 1x1 time with each boy
This has been something I've wanted to do on a regular basis for awhile now. These poor kids are with each other 24/7 and I'm sure they enjoy a break from their brothers every now and then. It's been such a treat to spend 1x1 time with them. We haven't done anything special- I took Cooper with me to a doctor's appointment and then to pick up a couple things at Walmart, Will went to the grocery store, and Griffin joined me on a little road trip down to Franklin where I met another triplet mom who's expecting her babies to arrive in the next month. But they really seem to enjoy their solo time as much as I do! Likewise, Will has said that the 2 boys who stay behind are a little more calm and play well together. I think it's a nice addition to our routine and a welcome change of pace for the whole family!
